For the friends and family of the
alcoholic/addict, the key to serenity is finding the wisdom
to know the difference between what they can and cannot
change.
"... we discover that no situation is really hopeless, and
that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness,
whether the alcoholic/addict is still drinking/using or not."
The first time a friend or family member of an alcohlic/addict hears these
words -- read at the opening of virtually every
"Overcomers Outreach" meeting --
they seem too good to be true.
For many who have spent years living with the
progressive disease
of alcoholism/addiction and tried everything possible to keep the situation
from growing worse, the thought that finding happiness while
the drinking/using continues seems inconceivable.
Chances are happiness seems like an unrealistic goal, something
that only make-believe families on television shows have. For the
alcoholic/addict's family reality can become one crisis after another.
Pain, heartache, agony, stress, pressure, and emotional turmoil,
we've got -- but happiness?
But those who hang around "Overcomers Outreach" long enough find out that
the opening statement can become reality in their own lives
and in their own homes. One of the keys to that reality is
detachment.
As the literature says, "Detachment is neither kind nor unkind.
It does not imply judgement or condemnation of the person or
situation from which we are detaching. It is simply a means
that allows us to separate ourselves from the adverse effects
that another person's alcoholism/addiction can have upon our lives."
Many times the family members find that they have become just
as obsessed -- and perhaps even more
-- with the alcoholic's/addict's
behavior than the alcoholic/addict is with the drink. The "Overcomers Outreach" program
teaches us to "put the focus on ourselves" and not on the alcoholic/addict,
or anyone else.
If we put the focus on ourselves, we will no longer be in
the position to:
-
Suffer because of the actions and reaction of others.
-
Allow us to be used or abused by others.
-
Do for others what they could do for themselves.
-
Manipulate situations so others will eat, sleep, get up, pay bills
and not drink.
-
Cover up for anyone's mistakes or misdeeds.
-
Prevent a crisis if it is the natural course of events.
But what about the alcoholic/addict? What happens if I stop doing all
of these things that I have done all these years to "help?"
Has it helped? "Overcomers Outreach" members learn that no individual is
responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. The
simple answer to what to do about
the alcoholic/addict: "Let go, and let God."
As they say in the program, "It's simple, but it ain't easy."
But you do not have to do it alone. There's probably an "Overcomers Outreach" support family
meeting nearby where you will find people who understand as
few others can. They have been there, and by sharing their experience,
strength and hope,
help others to find their own path to serenity.
***Clergy Confidentiality Agreement***
All communication with this ministry is kept in strictest confidence! Everything you share with this ministry is covered under the "clergy confidentiality" agreement and is considered privileged information. Under no circumstances will we share any of your communication with anyone. As we coordinate contacts in your community on your behalf, your identity will remain anonymous.
|
Home
